Bognor or Bust!

...and what a summer it has been! I've had an amazing time, notwithstanding the circumstances. There are many positive things to cancer and making sure that I've had a fab time with Briony and Stephen has been shifted to a new priority (#1) on the agenda. So thank you cancer for making me a better person and for helping me realise just what is important in life. We had a great Bank Holiday weekend and spent a lovely afternoon at Black Park on the Go Ape nets. This involved running around like an absolute loonie on cargo nets suspending around 4-5m above the ground. Briony, Stephen and I all went on them and had a great time. Poor Stephen did have to tell me at one point that my prosthesis had moved! These are not problems we are used to, but we both saw the funny side! The last couple of weeks have been spent in a frenzy of visiting relatives before the summer ends. We have done a tour of duty of Suffolk, Norfolk, Cambridgeshire and Dorset. I've held up relatively wel...

 The holiday was everything we thought it would be and more! We had such an amazing time and it couldn't have come at a better time for us as a family. For the first time since I was diagnosed I was able to actually forget about it properly and enjoy myself with Stephen and Briony. Unexpectedly, I was also able to dive. We asked the consultant about it at my last appointment just before we went and he said that we saw no reason why not, as I am having regular heart scans in any case and that is far more than most people diving have. So, dive I did. although I have to say that I was somewhat nervous. Nervous because we haven't dived in 3 years, but also nervous on whether my body would hold up. One of the lesser side effects of the cancer I have found is that I have lost confidence in some things and diving is one of them. There is no logical reason to this, but there you go! We did 8 amazing dives. If ever there was an activity that embodies mindfulness and being presen...

I'd love to claim the title for the post, but have to give credit where credit is due. Thank you bro! So this summer is all about memories, not mammaries! The last 8 months have been all about those and it's time to move on. As I write this, I realise that it is exactly 8 months to the day since I had my initial diagnosis. Briony broke up from school a couple of weeks ago and we've been making the most of it. So far, we have been to Essex to visit my Aunt and cousin (Maldon hasn't changed since I spent summers there with my Gran many years ago), seen The Incredibles 2, been to Yo Sushi (limited gluten free options), Wagamamas (slightly better on the gluten free scale), been swimming twice, been to Claire's Accessories twice, Warwick Castle, a lovely brunch with school friends and sleeping out in the tent in the garden at least 3 times.  I was also fortunate enough to go to Wimbledon with Stephen's cousin, Nikki. We had a fab time. On the celeb spo...

I haven't posted for a while. To be honest there hasn't been much to post. Without cancer impacting every day, life is actually relatively boring! To give you an example, I cleaned some windows today. But please read on, hopefully it will get a little more interesting! Radiotherapy was somewhat uneventful and finished around a week and a half ago. They said that the side effects would get worse for a couple of weeks after treatment finished and sure enough, they have! I have patches of either very dark, or blistered skin in the treated areas. It's a bit embarrassing on my neck as it looks like I have some weird kind of sunburn, which is a shame as I'm always so careful in the sun! It does also mean that with the weather as it is, I need to be incredibly careful as it is very sensitive. My left underarm is currently a complete mess - there are 2 large scars, one from the lymph node removal and one where the mastectomy scar starts, a couple of blisters, an area of very ...

I heard from an old friend today. His wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, which was picked up during a routine scan. Today she is 1 of the 150 women who will have been diagnosed with breast cancer. To her and the 149 others, their journey is just starting. Each journey will be unique and take its own course, and each woman will cope with it in the best way she knows how. Be brave my cancer companions......you have many more women known and unknown rooting for you. Tomorrow is my last radiotherapy session and marks the end of the acute phase of my treatment. With the ongoing uncertainty with my lungs and my HER2 positive status, treatment still goes on, perhaps indefinitely, but it is less intense than it has been up to now. I made the decision today that I'm not going to be kept on tender hooks waiting it out for the verdict on my lungs. It will be what it will be and as I said unwittingly today to a friend of a friend at radiotherapy the uncertainty over my lungs is...

I feel like an old pro with the radiotherapy now. Today was session 10 of 15. I know the routine. I know how long to hold my breath for, I know that when they are radiating my neck the machine will go for about 20 seconds, then stop for about 3 and then start again for a couple of seconds more so I need to hold my breath for longer and not let it out. I know the staff by name, what to drink and what not to drink from the coffee machine (very important). I know that the doors will beep for a while as the radiotherapists run from the room whilst I am strapped into the machine of torture trying not to get worried. I know the noise that the machine makes when it starts doing its zapping and I can see the internal workings of the machine as it moves and the zapper gets moved into place ready. Despite all of this, there is some bizarre comfort drawn from the familiarity. The play lists whilst having radiotherapy need some work. I've searched for a Spotify radiotherapy play list but th...

I've said before, milestone days are sometimes the most difficult. Today is my Birthday. Thank you everyone for the myriad of best wishes, cards, flowers and presents. All have been gratefully received! As my birthday has sadly fallen on a Monday the celebrations have been relatively low key. Yesterday however, Stephen took me for a birthday meal at The Ivy in Marlow. We had a lovely time, Briony's table manners put me to shame and I can assure you that hibiscus gin and prosecco is a combination that everyone should try at least once in their lives. I'm starting to feel a lot more comfortable with my skinhead look and as we are now in full on summer have pretty much ditched the wigs. It's very liberating and is my way of starting to try and move on a little. I've convinced myself that I am some kind of pop star with a daring hair style. I certainly would never have chosen it, but there is something to be said for trying something crazy every so often. I'm almo...