Bognor or Bust!

...and it didn't get any better on Friday. It was a busy day and started with a 9.30am appointment with the dietician to go over the dos and don'ts of Coeliac disease. Pretty much as I suspected, other than the level of rigour required. I need to be careful with what was referred to as "cross-contamination". This means apparently a separate cupboard for my gluten free stuff, separate toaster, butter, jam, chopping board, washing knives etc etc. A bit tedious, but all manageable. Next appointment was due at 11.30am with the surgeon for another seroma drainage. As I knew I would have a little bit of time I had been the local farm shop on the way to the hospital earlier that morning and got a few cakes and gifts for various people around the hospital who have been helpful. So I set about distributing them and then bumped into one of the breast care nurses. She said that my surgeon was free as a patient hadn't turned up and rather than wait until 11.30 why didn...

It feels like it has been a long week and it is only Thursday! It's certainly been a busy week. Monday was the colonoscopy and endoscopy. It was done at the same place as I have been having all my other treatment. The reception staff now know me by name, which in my opinion is never a good place to be! They joked that I was trying to visit every department in the hospital. Not willingly I would like to add. The whole thing wasn't as bad as I thought, probably because the drugs were bloody amazing! I was also able to watch on a TV screen in front of me and see my innards, which was absolutely fascinating in my drug induced haze. To give you an indication of how OK I found it, they started with the endoscopy, then the colonoscopy. At the end of the colonoscopy I asked when they were doing the endoscopy. They'd already done it. Back to the room to recover for a couple of hours and more importantly to eat. I hadn't eaten since 8am the previous day and by this time i...

The biopsy results were back on Friday, earlier than expected. More unexpected news - there were 2 further tumours in the remainder of my breast that they took out on Monday. 1 was 10mm the other was 8mm. I still don't understand why these weren't seen on the MRI as they aren't exactly invisible at this size. This, I guess, is a question for the oncologist when I see him on Tuesday evening. It's on the list. On the positive side, the surgeon doesn't want to see me until November, when I will have my first of my now annual mammograms. Having read around it a bit, it would appear that these aren't that effective in women of my age, especially those with dense breasts, which apparently I have. This makes it harder to detect tumours. More on this later. It would also appear that I can't reconstruct until at least a year after the radiotherapy is complete. Reading around, the general recommendation is 6-12 months. I've undergone a bit of a mental change...

The sun is shining and it's a beautiful day! Once again, I have been touched by people's generosity, kindness and downright show of brilliant human nature at its finest! You all know by now that shoes are my thing. So I was incredibly touched when the mothers from Briony's school all said they were driving to school on Monday morning in high heels as a show of solidarity. This upped the ante slightly as to be honest I was planning on rocking up at the hospital in my converse. I quickly changed plans! Thank you ladies for putting a smile on my face. Photos below! The below bag arrived in the post today from a good friend who has recently moved to Australia. It reminded me that no matter what, the show must go on! These are just 2 examples - there have been countless text messages, WhatsApps, emails, phone calls, cards, letters, flowers - the list is endless. I feel very blessed to have such support around me. You're all amazing! Thank y...

The breast has gone and is currently sat in some anonymous lab awaiting further biopsying to see how diseased it was. I have mixed feelings. I feel somewhat betrayed by this intimate part of me that it could turn against me and put me through all of this shit. I also feel a sense of loss, a lack of femininity. This isn't helped by the lack of hair. It's not pretty and to be honest I don't think I was mentally prepared for it at all. The only word to describe it is brutal. There are no dressings, just a cm wide strip of micropore covering the scar, so I haven't really been able to hide from looking at it and confronting it. It feels very weird. But this is the way that it must be, at least for now. So onwards we go. I came home yesterday evening as I wanted to sleep in my own bed. The drain (we decided on Donald (as in Trump, bit of a pain and hanging around for too long), thanks for all the suggestions) has gone. Earlier this evening it started leaking, which pr...

The title of the post gives it away......... Sadly the results of the biopsy from the second lumpectomy on Friday didn't go my way. We still didn't get clear margins. My surgeon said it was a surprise. You're telling me! On the positive side, I was at least considering it as an outcome this time, especially after my harsh learning from the first lumpectomy results. I was offered 3 options: Do nothing  Another lumpectomy Mastectomy I've gone for a mastectomy for a number of different reasons. Do nothing is never really an option for me and we've had 2 attempts at a lumpectomy and even with a third there is no guarantee that we will get it all. We are also getting very tight on time for Bognor (28th July) with the radiotherapy that I need to have done and typically we made the final payment last weekend, so we can't now cancel. It's also the principle of the thing. This has been in the diary for so long and I'm still determined to go. So o...

Firstly, Happy Star Wars day...... ....which also happens to be Steph Chaffin's birthday (mother-in-law), so a Happy Birthday to you! Yesterday went well, despite me not wanting to have to go through it again. At least I knew what to expect and was welcomed back for round 2. This time I was first on the list, so at least there wasn't as much waiting around. Usual drill of surgeon coming round, drawing on me to make sure they operated on the correct side and also confirming that I did need the seroma draining. The anaesthetist wandered in, and I mean literally wandered in, to the point where we thought he was in the wrong room! Not particularly reassuring! He was Aussie, so we put his somewhat laid back approach down to this and tried not to think about it. All pre-op observations were fine, with the exception of my heart rate which was apparently all over the shop. I wasn't particularly surprised. I walked down to theatres with the theatre nurse, hopped onto the oper...

Cancer is a funny old thing. Just when you feel you are getting somewhere you get a(nother) curved ball thrown at you. Bertie the drain left us on Friday morning with relatively little fanfare. Removing him wasn't too bad. I was warned to expect a seroma (collection of fluid under my arm) and sure enough I have one. Keep reading for news of what they will be doing with that. On Friday afternoon I met up with Claire, one of my oldest (in tenure alone!) and best friends. We felt like the walking wounded as she has recently damaged her leg and is sporting a rather attractive leg brace. We did however spend an afternoon reminiscing about our wilder days and generally catching up. Saturday was lunch with a lovely group of ladies followed by a quiet evening. On Sunday we finally succumbed and took Briony to see The Greatest Showman at the cinema. Pretty much everyone we know has given it rave reviews (including all of Briony's classmates, so no peer pressure there then) and I...