Happy happy Easter holidays
For the first time since November I have truly been able to get on with life in the past couple of weeks. Life is good. I have a beautiful daughter who is an absolute rock in how she has handled all of this and could not make me more proud. I have a husband who has been more supportive than I could have ever hoped or wished for. I have a circle of friends, some close, some distant who have all rallied around me and I feel very supported and loved. I've even managed to get back in contact with some university friends who I had always been a bit wistful about loosing touch with. That was as a result of a hospital stay during cycle 2 where something on the telly sparked me to reach out. I would never have done it if I hadn't been in hospital and I would never have been in hospital without the cancer. So there we are. More positivity that has come out of this.
I've had a lovely few days with family in Ely while Stephen was away with business in the US. Briony played with her cousins and second cousins and had a whale of a time. It was lovely to watch her with them. They don't see each other that often, but there is no social awkwardness with children and its great. Sadly the weather wasn't quite as great, but that didn't stop us too much.
Yesterday was chemo. I feel a bit of a fraud calling it chemo as I'm now only on 2 of the 3 drugs and quite frankly these 2 are a walk in the park compared to the other one that I have now completed the course of. The 2 remaining drugs are targeted therapies and don't have the blunt approach of killing any cell that is rapidly dividing, which is what the third drug did.
I have my pre-op assessment on Tuesday next week - I'm not sure what this has in store for me! I've also now had a little more information about the op itself. It will be wire guided, which means that I literally have a wire stuck into me in the morning to guide the surgeon to the bit that needs to be removed. The actually operation will be in the afternoon. I will be sent home with some drains in that will need to removed a couple of days later. They will biopsy the various body parts removed and I will get the results a couple of weeks later. I also start tamoxifen and an injection to continue to suppress my ovaries (the chemo has ticked that box until now) a couple of days after the op.
One thing that does need to be cleared up is what it is in my lungs. We know now that the team think that it is unlikely that it is cancer. I was so relieved to hear this that I forgot to ask what they think it is! I guess I'm not really that fussed, but I suspect that there is another conversation that I need to have at some point around that.
I've been reading a great book recommended to me. It's called "Anticancer - a new way of life". I'm not going to preach as that's not my style, but I have learnt a lot from reading it. It's written by a psychiatrist who was researching certain areas of the brain. One day one of his research subjects didn't turn up, so he jumped into the MRI himself. It was either the best or worst day of his life as the resulting MRI images revealed a large brain tumour. He has then looked at all the evidence on the periphery of medical science and drawn conclusions. This includes areas such as exercise, diet and detoxifying your own environment. I've taken a lot from it. One of the strongest messages is about limiting intake of red meat. Because of this I'm going to be trying to go vegan at least a few days a week. I've even purchased some cook books for inspiration. Stephen is also prepared to give it a go, so watch this space! I'm also in the process of changing all of my toiletries and cleaning products.
So we are running headlong towards the op. The next week involves getting everything sorted and in place. I'm also enjoying various fitness activities so want to spend some time doing these next week as these will be off the cards for a couple of weeks.
Give those around you a hug and a kiss this evening. Life is good and here for the living.......
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