Bring it on....

Quick post this evening on Chemo Eve.

I woke up this morning feeling absolutely dreadful. Then I realised that it was because of the half bottle of red wine I downed last night after having drunk pretty much nothing since this whole sorry affair started. I hate that everything is now attributed back to this. Still can't believe it was less than a month ago when I found the lump. Even in the 3 and a half weeks since I saw the GP I can feel that the lump has grown and changed.

Had to draft in the grandparents last night (thanks Tony and Steph) as typically Briony had a streaming cold over the weekend and wasn't well enough for school today. Obviously I can't afford to have the chemo delayed. It's quite difficult avoiding Briony and confusing for her as well, but she is such a good girl and as with most things took it in her stride.

The lurgi seems to be fairly prevalent at this time of year - my plan to have my locks chopped off also fell foul of sickness, as did a visit from one of my closest friends. But I'm truly grateful to you guys for keeping away.

Sadly, we have had to take the decision to can the Lapland trip. It's just a risk too far. I spoke to the tour operator and we are 3 hours from the nearest hospital which could very easily mean curtains for me if I get an infection. Plus even the specialist oncology insurance companies won't touch me. There was a question about whether Stephen and Briony would go without me, but we've decided that would be poor form. So instead we will go to Center Parcs for the weekend. I'm at peace with the decision as it feels right. Normally I would have been gutted, but then that's the new perspective that all of this offers. Now it's just a shrug of the shoulders and moving on. A problem is just an opportunity to find a solution!

More dark humour.......I had a cold call today, from a company offering me life insurance! Suffice it to say that they got sent away with a flea in their ears. I also got a Wowcher offer for hair implants. Seriously! I'm sure someone is tracking my internet history and thinks I am some hypochondriac mid-life crisis candidate. If only!

More good news - an email from the consultant today advised that my periods will stop during treatment and may not come back. Good - I was done with them anyway!

I ran this evening. Only 3.6 miles as the port site remains sore and having been inserted by a man is positioned at exactly the point that a sports bra rubs. Running remains my release and thinking time and will continue to do so. Still not sure what I'm going to do about the half-marathon at the weekend.

And so the next phase begins. I'm ready. See you all tomorrow x