It's the final chemo (sing to tune of "The final countdown" for full effect)
It's 5am and I've been up since 2am. I suspect it is the side effects of the steroids, or just generally having a lot going around in my mind. My hot flushes are also back with a vengeance, which doesn't help.
So yesterday was the final chemo! Or rather the final of the 6 cycles of the one really nasty, but bloody effective drug (docetaxel) as the other 2 continue every 3 weeks until I have had a full years worth of treatment. But still worth a little celebration in any case. It felt only fitting that Stephen was my chemo buddy for the day.
Shoes for the day were fit for a celebration, i.e. I can't walk in them. I just about managed to teeter may way down the corridor. I did get some strange looks, but quite frankly I don't care. I guess they may be even worse if I took my wig off.
Yesterday was hugely positive, but does also mark the end of a fairly significant chapter. I also need to learn to begin to trust my body again, which is no mean feat given it has let the cancer take up residence and happily have a secret partly without gate-crashing, which is what is does in the vast majority of the rest of the population. Everyone has cancer cells in their body, it's just that mine has decided to take a wholly passive approach to such squatters where are the correct response is to kill them off the moment they appear a little abnormal. I need to start looking into what I can do to support my body in being more aggressive in future. If anyone has any ideas, I'm all ears.
I've thought long and hard about posting the next photos. But now feels like the right time. Loosing my hair has been difficult. I want people to see this not for pity as you all know by now that isn't an emotion I have any need of. However, I do want people to understand the reality of what this disease and the treatments do to you so that it helps raise awareness. I don't believe posting cryptic messages/symbols/hearts on social media is enough. So if posting my photos means means just one woman schedules a monthly check in her phone then I will be happy. Men, you're not excluded from checking your bits although judging by the amount of men I see walking down the street doing just this it clearly isn't as much of an issue. But please do check. I'll be honest, I didn't regularly.
Chemo duly delivered we set of for the usual post-chemo meal. No nausea this time and my taste buds also hadn't jumped ship at the first opportunity, so it was lovely. Langoustine tails, chicken (trying to cut down on red meat) and apple crumble. Plus prosecco, obviously. Also found a great underwear/swimwear shop so treated myself to a bikini. I've thrown all my old ones out - I'm sure it's all psychological, but I just don't like them any more. Feels like a new phase, or maybe that is just me making excuses for more retail opportunities that I now can't afford!
The next few weeks have gone a bit crazy, especially with the current uncertainty over surgery date and the referral to the pulmonologist. I've also been invited to spend a week with close and extended family in Cambridge whilst Stephen is away in the US, but this is likely to be the week that everything might happen. That and trying to schedule the next 3-weekly infusions (which also typically fall that week). It's all making my head hurt and I'm struggling to commit to anything outside of the medical priorities over the next few weeks so please do bear with me and be ready for me to change plans at short notice. Call me selfish, but I want to get phase 2 of this moving as quickly as possible......
We're off to Center Parcs again this weekend. This has mainly been paid for by my team at work who very kindly had a collection for me a few months back. Thank you, I'm very grateful. We've been given special dispensation to take Briony out of school on account of me playing the C card. Can't wait. Whilst I'd rather be on a beach somewhere I can't currently travel and this is the next best thing. Briony loves it and we do spend some lovely family time together enjoying the activities. Plus obviously it now takes me ~1/10 of the time it used to to get dry. So everyone is a winner. We've also booked a load of meals out to help with my post-chemo rapid weight loss (and because I was feeling lazy if truth be told).
You never know, I might even get a full nights sleep!
Have a great weekend everyone - at least the next one after this is a long one! x
So yesterday was the final chemo! Or rather the final of the 6 cycles of the one really nasty, but bloody effective drug (docetaxel) as the other 2 continue every 3 weeks until I have had a full years worth of treatment. But still worth a little celebration in any case. It felt only fitting that Stephen was my chemo buddy for the day.
Shoes for the day were fit for a celebration, i.e. I can't walk in them. I just about managed to teeter may way down the corridor. I did get some strange looks, but quite frankly I don't care. I guess they may be even worse if I took my wig off.
I've thought long and hard about posting the next photos. But now feels like the right time. Loosing my hair has been difficult. I want people to see this not for pity as you all know by now that isn't an emotion I have any need of. However, I do want people to understand the reality of what this disease and the treatments do to you so that it helps raise awareness. I don't believe posting cryptic messages/symbols/hearts on social media is enough. So if posting my photos means means just one woman schedules a monthly check in her phone then I will be happy. Men, you're not excluded from checking your bits although judging by the amount of men I see walking down the street doing just this it clearly isn't as much of an issue. But please do check. I'll be honest, I didn't regularly.
The next few weeks have gone a bit crazy, especially with the current uncertainty over surgery date and the referral to the pulmonologist. I've also been invited to spend a week with close and extended family in Cambridge whilst Stephen is away in the US, but this is likely to be the week that everything might happen. That and trying to schedule the next 3-weekly infusions (which also typically fall that week). It's all making my head hurt and I'm struggling to commit to anything outside of the medical priorities over the next few weeks so please do bear with me and be ready for me to change plans at short notice. Call me selfish, but I want to get phase 2 of this moving as quickly as possible......
We're off to Center Parcs again this weekend. This has mainly been paid for by my team at work who very kindly had a collection for me a few months back. Thank you, I'm very grateful. We've been given special dispensation to take Briony out of school on account of me playing the C card. Can't wait. Whilst I'd rather be on a beach somewhere I can't currently travel and this is the next best thing. Briony loves it and we do spend some lovely family time together enjoying the activities. Plus obviously it now takes me ~1/10 of the time it used to to get dry. So everyone is a winner. We've also booked a load of meals out to help with my post-chemo rapid weight loss (and because I was feeling lazy if truth be told).
You never know, I might even get a full nights sleep!
Have a great weekend everyone - at least the next one after this is a long one! x
Have to say, despite the lack of hair, you still look as gorgeous as ever, bitch. ;o) Wish I could say the same for me!!! :o) Hxx
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