Happy St David's day! The penultimate cycle.....

1st March...St David's day!

Today was cycle 5 and I feel like an old hand at this! I do seem to be somewhat fated what with the arrival of yet more snow. It feels like the world is conspiring against me as something seems to happen every cycle! Oh well, it makes me feel even more determined to battle through this. Of more importance was trying to cope with Briony's fear that school would be shut today for World Book day. As it transpired school started 1 hour later (first panicked text) and finished at 3pm, so Stephen was duly dispatched. She went as Matilda this year. Clearly not very original as there were 4 Matilda's in her class alone!

Heidi was today's chemo buddy and has upped the anti on the shoe front by turning up in Louboutins. I duly matched her with a different pair. We did at least change in the foyer of the hospital rather than trying to make it across the car park in the snow. The journey was slow, but safe as it was snowing. We were slightly late, but the team were all busy as it turns out that one of the other local BMI hospitals had had a flood and all of their patients were also being treated at the Chilterns by their nurses, but it had caused a bit of chaos with more nurses/patients than usual. As ever though, the team were excellent and seemed unflustered.

                                  
Pre-chemo amble was uneventful as usual, although I have noticed that the tiredness and nausea was worse last cycle. This seems to be relatively standard. A bigger surprise was that I have lost another kg of weight since the last cycle. This is surprising as I feel like I have been eating like a pig. Must try harder! I have also for the first time managed to fight off a cold without ending up in hospital. Whilst to mere mortals this may seem an easy feat, for me and my immune system this is a triumph! However, it did make me feel utterly rubbish for a few days. I did share the pain and Stephen caught it a few days later. I was secretly quite glad when he also said it had made him feel rubbish as I thought it may have just been me and everything else that I have going on!

And so the chemo was duly infused after they had checked that it really was me. I always find this slightly odd as I hadn't spotted a queue of people lining up to have poison willingly infused! I guess there is a reason behind this though. Nick then arrived with his menu of breakfast fare and associated beverages, which Heidi and I duly partook in! Heidi had also bought her dinner party conversation starter cards, which we had a bit of a giggle with. I love Heidi - she did reveal that she and her husband have not slept in the same bed or kissed since Saturday as he hasn't been feeling very well!

We did have a bit of excitement half-way through the infusion, when I managed to completely pull my line out by accidentally sitting on it and then moving which ripped it clean out. It then proceeded to spill blood and the infusion all over the floor which was all quite exciting. Luckily at the time it was infusing some saline rather than the chemotherapy as this would have otherwise induced a hazardous spill kit deployment. Only me! Typically, the bit I hate the most about chemo days is the needle insertion, so I had now unwittingly subjected myself to it twice. Idiot! Even the nursing team said it had been a while since anyone had done that. Another proof that I am indeed a special individual in so many ways!

As usual the taste buds started to go part-way through the docetaxel (dirty atomic bomb - see previous post) infusion. I also started to feel sick, which hasn't happened before and probably isn't a good sign.

The local woods yesterday

Heidi and I did have a brief discussion about whether we would make it to the now-traditional post-chemo lunch given the weather. Heidi quite rightly said she would feel somewhat short-changed (I might have bribed her with the post-chemo lunch!) if i didn't deliver. She also pointed out that as a paramedic in a past life she was used to driving in all weathers! She absolutely delivered and we made it safely to the restaurant. Apparently we were only the 4th table that day, which given when I have been on previous cycles they have been full was a welcome change. We duly packed away a lovely 3 course meal and a glass of prosecco each. We shared starters (langoustine tails, eggs benedict on muffin with wilted spinach), had steak frites for main (lovely) and a chocolate pot and apple crumble for pudding. I figured that if I was going to be sick I may as well make it count, plus I have another kg to put back on!

The other thing that started by the end of the infusion was the nasal drip. I was once again reminded of the importance of nasal hair, especially when I stepped outside in the cold air. Without going into the detail, lets just say that I am never far from a tissue these days, even more so in the cold weather.
What else have I been up to since my last post. Well I know that the last week or so of the cycle is generally OK for me, so I had planned a few things in. My cousin Katy and Aunt Eileen came to visit armed with flowers and chocolates (thank you ladies). It was lovely to see them and as with all my visitors I was very grateful that they had made the journey. We had a fun day of catching up on all our escapades in earlier life and once more putting the world to rights. Plus a visit to the local cafe for tea and cake topped the day off. I was flattered to hear that one of Katy's ex-colleagues who is involved with a cancer charity would like to share this blog. I'm more than happy for anyone to do this. If I can make this situation any easier for people in the same position, then that is a positive. Over a week on and the flowers still look lovely thank you. The chocolates however are long gone - can you see how I'm struggling to understand how I have lost another kg of weight?

I also went swimming at the newly refurbished Wycombe swimming pool as some days I'm struggling with running, so wanted to try and mix it up a bit. I really enjoyed it. The water was cold, so forced me to swim quite quickly! I did however feel relatively normal as with a swimming hat on obviously no one knew about the cm long hair residing underneath the cap. I managed 60 lengths and felt pretty good about it. Another positive thing about cancer - it really doesn't take you long to get changed from swimming when you have short hair. It's so much more difficult when you have long hair and it is driping everywhere! It cut my changing time by about 90% - you men have it so easy. It is an experience I will probably be repeating.

I've also been on a spa afternoon, which was just what I needed. My Mum bought me a voucher to have a manicure for my birthday last year and I hadn't got round to using it. So I had decided to have a look at what I could do with it and found a special offer at a spa associated with a David Lloyd gym in Northwood. So I booked a facial and massage suitable for cancer patients. I was also allowed to use the facilities as well so turned up early and took full advantage of this. I had 2 people commenting that they liked my hair do (I was sporting the cm long post-shaved head look). One asked which charity I had shaved it off for - I didn't want to make her feel bad so said "Breast cancer" which didn't feel like a complete lie! The other lady thought I had done it to make my life easier for a sporting lifestyle!

I've also been on a "Look Good, Feel Better" workshop. This was something that I had seen in a magazine and is a workshop aimed at women with cancer and helps them understand the changes to their skin/hair and how to change make-up application/skin-care techniques accordingly. I booked it back in December and this was the first slot available at Mount Vernon hospital where they run 3 sessions a month, so I figured it must be fairly popular. I was pretty apprehensive as I often am in these circumstances with a room of people I didn't know. I needn't have been as it was a very enjoyable and informative afternoon. There were women of all ages, I was probably the second youngest (cue slight pang of "why me, this shouldn't be happening", but I gave myself a stern talking to and soon moved on) and ages up to late 60s, early 70s. I felt completely at ease within about the first ten minutes and it was great to meet women at all stages of treatment and ask them questions about their experience. We also got given an amazing bag of goodies, containing a complete skincare regime, plus body lotion and shower gel, mainly from Liz Earle, and a full set of make-up from various different brands including Clarins and Clinique. All of these are donated by the various different companies and then sent to Procter and Gamble who package them up and put them in a toiletry bag. Once more I was overwhelmed by how kind human beings can sometimes be. I left with a warm glow and slightly over-made up face. It was quite funny as there were a few disasters with the make-up that made us all laugh! As usual I was one of the most vocal, which meant I did get picked on a little by the people running the session, but I don't mind! I can completely recommend this for other people who find themselves in my unfortunate position.

Look Good, feel better

I have now officially finished e-baying everything that I can in our household! I feel there may be a business model/idea in offering my time to e-bay for other people as lots of you have asked!

Sadly it never rains but it pours and the company I work for has decided to shut down commercial operations in the UK and Germany off the back of a failed clinical trial. This is sometimes the harsh reality of the world of pharmaceuticals. It does however mean that I am facing the prospect of imminent redundancy. I'm not quite sure what this means for me just yet, especially as all my healthcare is currently provided through work. It does however remind me that the most important thing is my health, so whilst this is not a good situation, I must focus on my health and not let the stress of a situation out of my control impact me as there is a good body of evidence that stress will simply make my situation worse.

So we hunker down for the next 7 days for the side effects to kick in. I'm hoping the earlier than usual nausea isn't a sign of things to come. Then we move on to day 7-14 where infection avoidance becomes the name of game. See you on the other side........