Bognor or Bust!

It's 5am and I've been up since 2am. I suspect it is the side effects of the steroids, or just generally having a lot going around in my mind. My hot flushes are also back with a vengeance, which doesn't help. So yesterday was the final chemo! Or rather the final of the 6 cycles of the one really nasty, but bloody effective drug (docetaxel) as the other 2 continue every 3 weeks until I have had a full years worth of treatment. But still worth a little celebration in any case. It felt only fitting that Stephen was my chemo buddy for the day. Shoes for the day were fit for a celebration, i.e. I can't walk in them. I just about managed to teeter may way down the corridor. I did get some strange looks, but quite frankly I don't care. I guess they may be even worse if I took my wig off. Yesterday was hugely positive, but does also mark the end of a fairly significant chapter. I also need to learn to begin to trust my body again, which is no mean feat given it has

I think I may have scared people with my previous post! I promise that wasn't my intention and I'm honestly OK with it, or as OK as you can be. I've spent most of my life proving stats wrong and intend to continue doing so! The last couple of weeks have been relatively OK. I did feel quite sick for almost a week after the last chemo, but then woke on day 7 and it was like switch had been flicked and I was absolutely starving! I think Briony wondered what was going on when I was on my third bowl of porridge (I felt a bit like goldilocks). Little did she know that when I got back from dropping her off at school I then moved on to crumpets and ate 6 in relatively quick succession all dripping with strawberry jam and butter. I had dropped 2kg in a week because of not wanting to eat and other side effects of the chemo, so had some catching up to do! Because I was feeling fairly well after the switch had flicked I have managed to go back to pretty much a normal life in the l

Now feels like the right time to tackle the elephant in the room. Prognosis. Such a little word, yet huge implications. If you don't want to know and prefer to live in blissful ignorance then now is the time to stop reading. If you're still reading then I'll assume you want to know. I did, so asked a while ago, but somehow the time didn't feel right to share. Perhaps we were just coming to terms with it ourselves. Prognosis for breast cancer is quoted in terms of the percentage of women still alive after 5 years. By it's very nature it means that the figures are at least 5 years old and one would hope that the situation has improved in this time. It isn't just one figure; it's split by which stage of breast cancer you have. Stages are defined as stage 1-4, depending on a number of different factors. I have stage 4. The percentage of women still alive after 5 years with stage 4 in the most recent figures is 22%. I don't need to tell you that this

1st March...St David's day! Today was cycle 5 and I feel like an old hand at this! I do seem to be somewhat fated what with the arrival of yet more snow. It feels like the world is conspiring against me as something seems to happen every cycle! Oh well, it makes me feel even more determined to battle through this. Of more importance was trying to cope with Briony's fear that school would be shut today for World Book day. As it transpired school started 1 hour later (first panicked text) and finished at 3pm, so Stephen was duly dispatched. She went as Matilda this year. Clearly not very original as there were 4 Matilda's in her class alone! Heidi was today's chemo buddy and has upped the anti on the shoe front by turning up in Louboutins. I duly matched her with a different pair. We did at least change in the foyer of the hospital rather than trying to make it across the car park in the snow. The journey was slow, but safe as it was snowing. We were slightly late,