Half-way house.....

So that's it. Round 3 of chemo is in me and fighting it's way around my body. That brings us to half way through the chemo so I feel I am now a veteran at this. With comforting predictability my taste buds have already gone and my nose is streaming. So at least I have confirmation that it was indeed chemo that they put in me today! And so the battle of staying out of hospital begins. My first defence against that is the GCSF which I will stab myself in the stomach with at lunchtime tomorrow. I also have a confusing array of anti-nausea drugs with various instructions around taking before or after food. I struggle with it and I trained as a pharmacist, so I have a head start on quite a few other people!

I have also had to start in-filling my eyebrows for the first time. I was a bit nervous about doing it as it was the first time, but one of the chemo nurses commented that they looked really good and asked if I was a professional make-up artist, which did make me smile. Little did she know it took me 3 attempts! Thanks for the kit Fiona - it's been a great success.

Yesterday was a mixed day. At 8.30am I had my bloods taken to check that they were OK for chemo. I have to admit that I was a little bit nervous given they haven't behaved themselves particularly well this cycle. The ward has a machine which will give a sneak preview, and they came back low, but fine to give chemo from this machine. This is important as there are 2 things to be avoided; dose reductions and delays to cycles, which would have been the case if my bloods counts weren't where they needed to be. A quick cup of tea from the wonderful Nick and I was on my way home. On the way out of the hospital I saw the consultant Radiologist walking into the hospital who was the first one to have to tell me that it was highly likely I had breast cancer at Wycombe Hospital on the day of the initial investigations. Having since seen the biopsy report she absolutely knew that it was cancer according to the grading. I stopped her to say thank-you as I will always remember the compassion she displayed when I asked a very direct question that she was clearly uncomfortable answering. She remembered me as Stephen had entered the room half way through the biopsy she was performing as he had just flown home from Vegas. We thought it was all going to be routine and a cyst, so he hadn't come home any earlier. Little did we know......Anyway, she said I had made her day as not many people thanked her for delivering news that blows their world apart! However, credit where credit is due - it was the way she delivered it which I will remember. I'd been meaning to write her a letter to say thank you, but now she had saved me a job!

I realised whilst driving home that it had been 2 months to the day since that biopsy.

The day got really interesting then and I buffed all the floors in the house - glamorous I know! For those of you who care it's actually really therapeutic!

Back over to the Chilterns at lunchtime for the dreaded MRI scans. Thanks to Jude and Duncan for providing some more appropriate music this time - new Killers CD hit the spot beautifully! So there were 4 scans in total, breast and brain without contrast and then the same with contrast. I have to admit that it wasn't as bad this time as I knew what to expect and how long each one would take. I also had an eye mask to stop me opening my eyes in the brain scan and even if I did, it would mean that I could only see the inside of the eye mask. The MRI technician remembered me from before (probably because I broke down in tears after the brain MRI and needed a kind word or 2 to coax me back into the beast for the brain MRI with contrast which is last in the sequence) and was very kind again this time. I wouldn't say it was enjoyable, but on the scale of bloody awful/never again to a walk in the park it was at least bearable. The whole thing took about an hour and a half with all the in and out of the machine.

A quick cup of tea at home and then it was time to pick Briony up. I'm not quite sure what Briony had been saying, but the teacher that runs after school club came and asked me if I was OK. I wasn't quite sure what she meant until she told me that Briony had said to her that I was having lots of needles stuck into me today! Bless....

I didn't sleep very well again last night. It must be a pre-chemo thing. I was awake so came downstairs to watch some pointless TV and went back to bed around 2am, which was when the wind starting absolutely howling so didn't really much get much sleep from there-on in. Stephen was off for a day's well earned shooting so was up at his usual time of 5.50am, so there was tiredness all round as no-one slept particularly well last night with the weather.

So on to today. Claire came with me to give Stephen a break from it all - we have discussed it and agreed that the only person who should be attending all of the sessions is me! It also gave me the opportunity to wear completely inappropriate footwear and walk across the car park without being told off! Jimmy Choo's duly selected. Claire and I had a quick chat on the way into the hospital about whether she would be OK with seeing me have chemo and she said that in an odd way it was very comforting for her and that she would put it into me herself if she could. We both agreed that it was probably for the best that she wouldn't have to!

We had a lovely 3 hours chatting, listening to music and generally plotting as we haven't had a good catch-up since Christmas. We have booked a spa day for March and also arranged a visit to Cirque de Soleil at the Royal Albert Hall for us and the girls in February half term. We then talked about all the other stuff that women talk about when they are together but can't remember once someone else asks them about the conversation. Suffice to say I learned 2 things about Claire that I never knew (one of them fairly major!), but don't worry Claire, your secrets are safe with me! Oh and obviously during this time there was poison being forcefully coursed through my body.

I felt thoroughly spoilt throughout with the endless tea, coffee and biscuits, nurses coming in and chatting, socks courtesy of Jude and Duncan (apologies if they offend, but I thought they were pretty funny - Briony started to read them so I had to hide them away fairly quickly!) and a shawl from Claire who purchased it for me for a Christmas present before we knew about any of this. 6th sense maybe as the other part of my present was a bobble hat!

Chemo duly delivered, we decided a spot of lunch was in order. We went over to Amersham, thinking that Cote at 1.30pm on Thursday afternoon would be fairly quiet. How wrong were we! It was packed to the rafters with no tables for 30 minutes. It was also as though they had gone down the high street and had a campaign for a certain social demographic and only let those people in! Without exception, the crowd was all 60 plus, with a female on every single table. It was quite weird! On the table wait front, the only thing for it was to engage in a bit of retail therapy. Prior to all of this my trademark was "Never knowingly undershopped". Recent financial changes have meant that this is no longer appropriate, so it has now been pared back, but like every other female on the planet I do still enjoy a meander around the shops. So I purchased and Claire didn't, despite being challenged on her behaviour, but it wasn't for lack of trying! We did end up having lunch and it was lovely - I can highly recommend it, but a word from the wise, book a table......

So my busy cancer diary week concludes tomorrow with the CT scan to have a look at my lungs and check that nothing has appeared in any other major organs.

All in all a very pleasant day. Fingers crossed that the after effects of the chemo aren't too bad. Having it put in is actually the easy bit. What happens next isn't, but please keep your fingers crossed that it is third time lucky for me and I stay out of hospital this cycle.....