Bognor or Bust!

So yesterday was cycle 2. Crazy men! The run up to the cycle has been remarkably uneventful and for that I'm grateful. We had a lovely Christmas in the Lakes with our good friends, Claire and Richard and their 2 girls, Ella and Freya. Briony and the girls all adore each other and we have holidayed together before. After the previous holiday they decided that they were unrelated cousins and now they have decided that they are related sisters, so I guess they all got on OK. It was lovely to see them all together. Claire and I had a lovely afternoon with the girls whilst Richard and Stephen were climbing Helvellyn (in the snow I might add, crazy men). Briony's prize comment of the day was that if the men didn't come back then wouldn't it be great if the girls could all live in a commune together! It did make Claire and I laugh! On the whole it was a great Christmas and just what the doctor ordered to get me back in the right head space for cycle 2. Not to mention t...

Hello everyone! A quick message to wish you all a Merry Christmas with friends and family. We are up in the Lake District with friends and have had a lovely few days already. Walks, the odd run, too much food, a little bit of wine and some relaxing times are just what the doctor ordered. Apart from the alarmingly rapid departure of my hair, everything is fairly "normal" currently. I got quite upset about it yesterday as I watched it come out in handfuls (although again luckily down someone else's plug hole) with just a gentle wash. I have to say that I am glad that I had it cut shorter as it is distressing enough as it is, let alone if I had still had it long. I'm not sure how much longer it will be before I just give up and shave it all off - I don't want any bald patches, so once these start to appear I will do the deed. It won't be long as if I try and can pull out whole clumps. I went out on a lovely run today. We are near Lake Windermere and st...

 Not a lot has happened since I last posted. It's odd this cancer thing. Maybe it's how the cancer is too - frenzied activity for a few days and then a couple of weeks off. Some days I've almost forgotten that I've got it and then other days its all I think of. So since we last spoke (technically since I wrote but I think of this very much as talking therapy!) there have been a few things which I will fill you in on. Last Tuesday couldn't have gone better for us really, with the news of a clear brain and bone scan. However, I was awake pretty much all of last Wednesday evening worried about what the neurologist would say. Stupidly I had googled "brain inflammation" on Wednesday and then obviously I had the worst case scenario in my head at about 3am on Thursday morning. Thursday last week was a busy day. I had the neurologist appointment at 8.20am to begin the day. I say begin the day but I had been up since 3am thinking through the likely Armageddo...

Well the snow has caused complete chaos as usual! 2 snow days for Briony and then last day at school today - one tired girl. Monday was shocking. I spent most of the day with my head down the toilet. To be honest I'm not sure what caused it and it could have been any one of about 3 things. My money is on the anti-biotics given the timing. Thank you to my lovely neighbour Angela for having Briony when I really wasn't at my best and desperately needed some sleep - you are a life safer! Monday was also the day for the hair chopping #2 after delaying for the lurgy last week. I would put a photo up but my cold has left me with some rather attractive tender areas around my nose (because of constant nose blowing and lack of nasal hair), so I'll spare you the grossness. Funny how some things don't bother me about this at all, yet some things do. Love my new hair, which is a bit of a shame as it won't be a lasting feature! Oh well, something to aspire to once it does sta...

Quick post as conscious I have been a bit remiss in updating people recently. The main event has been that we have had about 6 inches of snow today so now don't need to go to Finland as it has come to us! There is a God after all.... A quiet Thursday and Friday and pretty uneventful. Personal trainer session on Friday and Dad and Step-Mum came down on Thursday/Friday. It was lovely to see them as I've gone from a million miles an hour to nothing and I do get quite bored! Not quite ready to go back to work yet, but it does get a bit dull staring at the same 4 walls. I developed a bit of a rash on my chest on Friday, but it didn't itch and wasn't causing me any problems, so having spoken to the Chiltern's I was advised to carry on as normal. So I did! I was feeling fairly smug about the whole thing and felt that I was doing pretty well. I have to admit, that I felt pretty good up until about 7pm Friday evening and thought I had had a very good ride of it. We...

After yesterday's targeted missiles were dispatched, today it was the turn of the blunt, dirty (but effective) atomic bomb approach. Civilian casualties should be expected. Gut and hair infantry expected to suffer heavy losses..... Final drug today of cycle 1. I can't claim any credit for the analogy of targeted missiles and atomic bombs - it's all Stephen, but a great way of explaining it. I woke feeling pretty positive and had the best night's sleep I have had in the last 4 weeks. I managed to sleep until 5.30am which is a marked improvement on the recent 3am wakings (consistently within about 3 minutes either way of 3am, very weird). One of my thoughts this morning was that it was exactly 4 weeks ago today that I found the lump. Talk about a life-changing turn of events. I don't do things by halves! I'm pleased to report that there have been minimal, if any side effects from the 2 drugs yesterday, although once again my optimism may prove slightly pr...

Day 1 of cycle 1 is complete. I no longer feel like a fraud - I am now a bona fide patient. My body is a battle ground and it does help to think of the chemo going round my body rounding it all up. I appreciate this might be slightly premature given the infusions only finished a few hours ago, but positive mental attitude and all that. I feel it is important to face cancer head on and show it who is boss. I am renowned for my footwear and decided that Louboutin ankle boots would fit the bill today in the absence of Dorothy's ruby slippers. I went from one extreme to the other when I switched out of these into my own furry fox slippers for sitting on the bed. Both got comments! The port held up beautifully and is healing well, given it only went in 3 days ago. Apparently the surgeon made a great job of it  and I have limited bruising. It seemed a little churlish to mention that it rubs when I run, so for once in my life I managed to keep my mouth shut. It's a bit weird the...

Quick post this evening on Chemo Eve. I woke up this morning feeling absolutely dreadful. Then I realised that it was because of the half bottle of red wine I downed last night after having drunk pretty much nothing since this whole sorry affair started. I hate that everything is now attributed back to this. Still can't believe it was less than a month ago when I found the lump. Even in the 3 and a half weeks since I saw the GP I can feel that the lump has grown and changed. Had to draft in the grandparents last night (thanks Tony and Steph) as typically Briony had a streaming cold over the weekend and wasn't well enough for school today. Obviously I can't afford to have the chemo delayed. It's quite difficult avoiding Briony and confusing for her as well, but she is such a good girl and as with most things took it in her stride. The lurgi seems to be fairly prevalent at this time of year - my plan to have my locks chopped off also fell foul of sickness, as did ...

Thanks to Carlie for the suggestion for the title! For those of you wondering it was my nephew's choice of film for yesterday, which Carlie thought was fairly appropriate..... It's been a busy couple of days, yesterday in particular. It started early as I was nil by mouth from 6am, so an early breakfast. Yoghurt and fruit as you ask. Back to bed for a quick snooze and then the usual morning routine, although slightly easy as Stephen was at home. More bacon sarnies for Briony which obviously went down well. We dropped her off at school and then over to the Chiltern hospital for the day's entertainment. 1st December and Christmas songs were blaring from the radio. It was even trying to snow a little for good measure. Arrived at the Chiltern where it was clear we were at a private hospital - the parking spaces were massive, clearly designed for chelsea tractors and you don't get the insult of being charged a hefty price for being ill and having to park. All good so...