Bognor or Bust!

I heard from an old friend today. His wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, which was picked up during a routine scan. Today she is 1 of the 150 women who will have been diagnosed with breast cancer. To her and the 149 others, their journey is just starting. Each journey will be unique and take its own course, and each woman will cope with it in the best way she knows how. Be brave my cancer companions......you have many more women known and unknown rooting for you. Tomorrow is my last radiotherapy session and marks the end of the acute phase of my treatment. With the ongoing uncertainty with my lungs and my HER2 positive status, treatment still goes on, perhaps indefinitely, but it is less intense than it has been up to now. I made the decision today that I'm not going to be kept on tender hooks waiting it out for the verdict on my lungs. It will be what it will be and as I said unwittingly today to a friend of a friend at radiotherapy the uncertainty over my lungs is...

I feel like an old pro with the radiotherapy now. Today was session 10 of 15. I know the routine. I know how long to hold my breath for, I know that when they are radiating my neck the machine will go for about 20 seconds, then stop for about 3 and then start again for a couple of seconds more so I need to hold my breath for longer and not let it out. I know the staff by name, what to drink and what not to drink from the coffee machine (very important). I know that the doors will beep for a while as the radiotherapists run from the room whilst I am strapped into the machine of torture trying not to get worried. I know the noise that the machine makes when it starts doing its zapping and I can see the internal workings of the machine as it moves and the zapper gets moved into place ready. Despite all of this, there is some bizarre comfort drawn from the familiarity. The play lists whilst having radiotherapy need some work. I've searched for a Spotify radiotherapy play list but th...

I've said before, milestone days are sometimes the most difficult. Today is my Birthday. Thank you everyone for the myriad of best wishes, cards, flowers and presents. All have been gratefully received! As my birthday has sadly fallen on a Monday the celebrations have been relatively low key. Yesterday however, Stephen took me for a birthday meal at The Ivy in Marlow. We had a lovely time, Briony's table manners put me to shame and I can assure you that hibiscus gin and prosecco is a combination that everyone should try at least once in their lives. I'm starting to feel a lot more comfortable with my skinhead look and as we are now in full on summer have pretty much ditched the wigs. It's very liberating and is my way of starting to try and move on a little. I've convinced myself that I am some kind of pop star with a daring hair style. I certainly would never have chosen it, but there is something to be said for trying something crazy every so often. I'm almo...

I have the song Radioactive from Imagine Dragons in my head most mornings these days on the drive to Oxford. This is completely inappropriate as I am not radioactive after treatment, despite having highly targeted radiation blasted at me daily! The wonders of modern medicine.... Radiotherapy so far is going pretty well. Day 1 was a little traumatic as the machine broke which meant a lot of waiting around. But the centre is very comfortable with lots of chairs, magazines, papers, coffee, tea, fruit and biscuits. Shame about the biscuits, which are strictly off limits due to my newly acquired Coeliac status, but everything else is of interest to me! Everyone at the centre is also lovely as well and I guess because people are going every day you build up quite a rapport. I have to say that after the hell of the pre-planning scan I really was quite nervous about what radiotherapy would have in store for me. Based on my experience so far, I needn't have worried too much, although al...

After a fairly shocking week last week, I'm pleased to report that this week has been a very different week. It's been half-term for Briony's school, so I have spent the week on a little bit of a tour of duty, which Briony has enjoyed immensely, as have I! People have also been very generous in driving me around various locations, as I still can't manage more than about an hour of driving at any one time as I just get too tired. We had a couple of days in Essex with my Aunt and cousin and then a couple of days in Suffolk with my Dad and Step-Mum. Although I grew up not far from where they currently live we went to some lovely places, some old, some new and there were lots of memories which made me fairly wistful! Thank you to all involved. The week was rudely interrupted by my 2 remaining antibody infusions on Wednesday of this week. Dad came with me this week for logistical reasons to help with the trip from Essex to High Wycombe. Although no parent should ever s...